Help with my Kid Icarus review

[Zero123]

Hi, I'm writing a review on Kid Icarus for my university paper.

Is it right to say "After 20 years of being relegated to smaller appearances in other Nintendo games, the popular angel Pit returns in his own title “Kid Icarus: Uprising” for the Nintendo 3DS."?

Because I was thinking...he's only been in a few outside games really, so I don't know if that sounds right to say for 20 years.

[KingBroly]

First off, the last Kid Icarus game was released in 1991 on the Game Boy. That's 21 years, not 20. Small details like this triumph your knowledge of the franchise, making it look like you know what you're doing. I'd probably make it something along the lines of 'After 21 years of being a bench warmer, Nintendo has finally put Pit into the starting lineup...'

Don't use that phrasing.

[cortjezter]

or if you're not sure, don't quote exact numbers.

"After over twenty years being relegated to cameos in other Nintendo games, the popular angel, Pit, returns to reclaim top-billing in Kid Icarus: Uprising for the Nintendo 3DS."

not actually sure without searching how to properly denote a video game as a published work, whether it should be quoted, underlined, or italicized. i usually do the slanties.

[KingBroly]

If it's a title, whether it be book, movie or otherwise, it is supposed to be underlined.

[TheLastBlade]

Only two games were made for Kid Icarus. It wasn't until Brawl (and maybe past references) that Public and Nintendo interest resurfaced. Which lead to Kid Icarus: Uprising.

And that's all I got.

[KingBroly]

Only two games were made for Kid Icarus. It wasn't until Brawl (and maybe past references) that Public and Nintendo interest resurfaced. Which lead to Kid Icarus: Uprising.

And that's all I got.

BS. People have wanted a new Kid Icarus since the Cube era.

[mock turtle]

If it's a title, whether it be book, movie or otherwise, it is supposed to be underlined.

Actually, that's only if it can't be written in italics, such as when hand-writing a paper (which is when everything looks like italics). My English professor said that italics is preferred, and to underline only when a substitute is necessary.

Only two games were made for Kid Icarus. It wasn't until Brawl (and maybe past references) that Public and Nintendo interest resurfaced. Which lead to Kid Icarus: Uprising.

And that's all I got.

BS. People have wanted a new Kid Icarus since the Cube era.

And probably even earlier than that, although it'd be hard to document. After all, it stands to reason fans would have hoped for a sequel in the ten years between the Game Boy game and the release of the GameCube. It's only been two years since the release of Bayonetta, and I'm desperate for Platinum to make another.

OP, it also might be worth mentioning some of the Kid Icarus developments that occurred besides the ones related to the 3DS game and Brawl, namely the rumors in 2003 & 2004 that Capcom's cancelled GCN title Dead Phoenix was being repurposed into a Kid Icarus game, and the rumor that Factor 5 was allegedly developing a KI Wii game, something that was mentioned repeatedly by IGN during the better part of 2008 (which only proved to be credible, albeit slightly, when abandoned concept art leaked online). This, of course, assuming you're looking to provide background for the Kid Icarus series in general, as well as the tormented history of getting a new game on shelves after the Game Boy era.

[Zero123]

Here was the final product if anyone was interested reading my review for school
http://www.csusignal.com/kid-icarus-fli ... 5UfZ4YZV1Y

*I realize it's odd Kid Icarus is in quotation marks, but for some reason at my newspaper we do not italicize anything as a rule

[waddledoodles]

That's a pretty great review! Probably better than what I was writing at your age; I'd always get trapped up on plot summaries.

...I still do, to an extent...

The only things I have an issue with are:

The storyline involves Pit and the goddess Lady Palutena against Medusa, Hades, the Underworld Army and mysterious space invaders.

It's not bad, but it could be phrased a bit better to make the situation more clear to the reader. I would've put "the war between" in front of "Pit and the goddess Lady Palutena", or maybe "The storyline involves Pit, a [whatever he is] fighting for the goddess Palutena against [lump all the bad guys together]."

You should also focus on divvying up your sentence structure a bit. There's a lot of "With such a so on and so forth, the point that I want to make is this" spread about the article. A lot of readers won't pick up that as being a specific problem, but the writing might come off as stale to them. Try using short sentences as a starting point. The more you write, the more you can play around with sentence structure!